Six-Year Old Wisdom
“Mom, STOP!!!!! Stop the car! You can’t be driving! You shouldn’t be driving! You have to stop!” shouts my 6-year-old son Ben from the backseat of the car as I am taking him to school one morning. Ben is now 16 and 6’4”, but I continue to learn so many lessons from him and my first vivid one was this day in the car.
He had been staring out the window for the ride to school, all of about 15 minutes, when suddenly he begins to shout. Of course, he frightened me so I am trying to figure out what happened to bring this on so quickly. When I asked him what was wrong, he just kept saying I shouldn’t be driving and then he got frustrated, as he often did when I didn’t understand what he was saying to me. He would shut down and I couldn’t get anything out of him after that.
On this day my brain was working overtime to try to understand what this 6-year-old was thinking, because I knew he was thinking and it was logical and made total sense. He kept saying that I wasn’t 16 and that I had to stop driving or I would get into trouble.I have no idea where or how this idea/statement came to me, but thank goodness it did, because it was a life changer, literally, for him and me and our future conversations. He was very frustrated and said something like “You never understand me!” My response, “Ben, my brain just hasn’t caught up to yours yet!” What? He replied. I told him that he had been thinking about this for the whole car ride, but he kept it in his brain and then only at the end did he share, so my brain didn’t know what his brain was thinking. So I said, “just be patient with my brain and catch me up to what you’re thinking?” That WORKED! He was able to explain that you get a driver’s license when you’re 16 and that’s when you can drive. He hadn’t processed that once you get your license, you get to keep driving if you pass the tests! OHHH! He said.
The wisdom for me that day came because I realized that there are so many times when I expect people to be right where my thinking is without me having told them. Additionally, there are so many times when I forget that other people have 90 % of their thinking still in their head and I judge or act or speak before I have the whole thought process or picture. This was the first of many conversations with Ben in which he was farther ahead in his processing and I needed to say, “Tell me more about it” and then be quiet and LISTEN!
Each day, Cheryl Mitchell works with both adults and children to help them reach their individual potential. A single mother to two teenage boys, Cheryl has a unique perspective on life and a way to make friends feel like they can do or be anything. As her sons begin to find their own purpose and voice, Cheryl too is sharing her life experiences and insight with others through Simply Stated.