You’ve been clowned

Yesterday was weird, guys. It was about 6:30 p.m. before I had all of my kids together (that’s the normal part). As I pulled out the driveway, I told them that I wanted to talk to them about these crazy clowns that are rumored to be invading our towns, our schools and our conversations. Let me repeat this so that it can sink in for you: I started to talk to my kids about crazy clowns.

Except I didn’t talk to my kids about crazy clowns. I chose to take the conversation a different way. Of course, I asked them what they knew about these clowns. My son said there are killer clowns on the loose. My high school student said all the girls were freaking out because there was a tweet that a clown was going to kidnap all the students and kill the teachers in another state. And my middle daughter said that the crazy clowns are all anyone will talk about.

At this point, I am both in awe of and just ticked off at how crazy people are these days. So, we talked about how mania in our town started.

WCIA decided to run a piece on a rumor that there was a clown in Danville. If you listen to the piece carefully, you will hear two counts of how there was a rumor that a clown spooked someone in Danville, but the local authorities were not able to find this person. Then, WCIA decides to call a sweet lady who has a clown-entertainment business to ask her to dress up like a clown, show off her shoes and her photo album from the events she’d shared her talent at.

I’d just like to recap again: There was an actual sweet clown in Champaign, who has brought laughter to children throughout her lifetime and then there was a rumor of a scary clown in Danville that may or may not have chased someone down the street. And WCIA’s conclusion: the crazy clowns may be visiting Central Illinois next.

This is how news organizations work. They take something small, turn it into something big and incite fear into people so that they can create more “news”. They do this with elections and the Bird Flu and West Nile and nearly everything else. Why do news organizations want to build fear? Because it means that you will come back to them, time and time again so that you can see what’s happening with that scary thing and so that you can see what you need to be fearful of next.

This gets their ratings/viewings/clicks up so that they, in turn, can go to advertisers and say we covered this story first, we are seeing these great numbers, your ad will be seen on our station by a wild amount of viewers.

You may not see it that way, but I do. I run a publication that tries to stay as far away as that model as I can.

What you see is this: Emails from principals and superintendents assuring you that your children are safe, schools going on “lockdown” because of “threats,” social media posts about parents coming home early or taking down Halloween decorations that frighten their children, and kids, whose parents are buying into the hysteria, too, spending their energy thinking about what how they will lock themselves in a bomb shelter if a clown might be on the street or in the woods or on a local news station.

Gee whiz, people. Let’s get our heads screwed on straight.

This is not an “epidemic”, as some reports would like you to believe. If you’re wrapped up in this crazy clown business, you are creating and participating in “hysteria.”

Are there clowns? Yes. Have clowns been arrested? Yes. 21, I believe. And have there also been people arrested for calling 911 for false claims relating to clowns? Yes.

Do we need to do everything we can to protect our kids? Yes. But this mania is not protecting our kids; it is teaching them a distorted and false reality.

I really love this report posted by ibtimes.com:

Here is a timeline of those events:

• August 29: Residents at the Fleetwood Manor Apartments in Greenville County, South Carolina, report that a person wearing a clown costume had been spotted lurking around the apartment complex trying to convince children to come into the woods.
• Sep. 4: Police in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, receive a call about a clown looking to lure children into the woods.
• Sep. 14: McDuffie County deputies in Georgia say Cameron Frails, 12, and his little brother, were walking to a bus stop when they were chased by men donning clown costumes.
• Sep 15: Authorities locked down Escambia County High School and Flomaton High School in Southern Alabama after clowns threaten students and post gun emojis on Facebook. So-called “Flomo Klowns” are spotted on the premises of both schools.
• Sep. 15: Authorities in Flomaton, Alabama, arrest 22-year-old Makayla Smith and two underage accomplices in connection with the threats to students at Escambia County High School and Flomaton High School.
• Sep. 19: Several children report a series of clown sightings in different neighborhoods of Annapolis, Maryland. Police later confirm the reports to be a hoax.
• Sep. 21: A middle school girl in Athens, Georgia, is arrested after bringing a knife into school. She claims it was for protection against clown attacks.
• Sep. 21: A 12-year-old in Pottsville, Pennsylvania,  is chased by a clown through a park.
• Sep. 24: A Palm Bay, Florida, resident reports spotting two “killer clowns” while walking her dog. She says the clowns were staring at her and frightened her to the point that she called police after returning home.
• Sep. 25: A child in Phillipsburg, New Jersey, is chased by three people who emerged from the woods dressed as clowns. Nobody has been hurt in the town but it is the fourth such incident reported in the area. Residents plead with the troublemakers to stop their antics.
• Sep. 27: Tennessee officials put out a warning telling residents to be vigilant as Halloween approaches. One teenager reports being attacked by a clown.
• Sep. 27: Police in Phoenix say two different fast-food restaurants were robbed by suspects wearing clown masks.
• Sep. 30: The New York Times reports that false reports or threats in connection to sightings of “creepy clowns” have led to the arrest of 12 people in over 10 states.
• Sep. 30: Threatening Facebook post from the account “Aint Clownin Around” leave at least five schools in three separate states on high alert. The post sent to students in students in Westside High School in Houston reads, “We will be at all High schools this Friday to either kidnap students or kill teachers going to they cars …”
• Oct. 3: Police in Nampa, Idaho, confirm they have received reports of clown sightings in the area. They urge residents looking to join in the search for possible threatening persons should not participate.
• Oct. 3: Authorities at New Haven Public Schools in Connecticut urge principals and building leaders to ban clown costumes through Halloween this year.

And maybe we need to add Mahomet-Seymour to this list of false reports and blowing things out of proportion. Instead of telling my kids that they need to be leary of clowns that may hunt them down in the parking lot, I’ve told my kids that news organizations incite fear by blowing things up to inflate the story. I told them that they have common sense enough to not follow a clown or anyone who is acting ridiculously. And I told them that I know all of the secretaries at our schools and they won’t let a scary clown come through that security system that was installed to ensure their safety a few years ago.

So, parents, instead of banning together to provoke another thing that our kids worry about and another fire that we have to put out at home, talk to your kids about the facts, talk to them about reality, and talk to them about their character.

Then, let it go. Let’s deal with the real stuff.