From a young age I’ve had a pretty strong and personality. I’ve been known (not always in a positive way) for being outspoken, intensely structured, and overly-sensitive. As a child I was often referred to as “the bossy one” . . . a term which I admit, hurt my feelings.
I don’t know if being called “bossy” is something anyone would take as a compliment, but I struggled with it even more so because I was truly just being myself, and didn’t understand why that was considered a bad thing. I wasn’t making a conscious effort to bark orders or dominate situations – in fact I was making a conscious effort to try and be the “fun one” who was always happy and everyone wanted to be around.
It was simply in my nature to take the lead and organize.As a member of the Jr. High cheerleading squad I was chosen for the “Leadership Award” at the end of the season. I was totally bummed because I was hoping to get the coveted “Bulldog Award,” which went to the girl whose teammates felt displayed the best team-spirit and ability. When I cried to my dad about this he said to me, “Lindy, some day you are going to look back and realize that the ‘Leadership Award’ was the best one you could get!”
I’ve always remembered that. As I grew up, entered the workforce and then went on to open a business, I’ve learned not only to accept, but to embrace these traits of mine as part of my very make-up. This is how God designed me to be.
I believe that each of us view the world around us and those we interact with based not only on our own experience, values, and beliefs . . . but also based on our own distinct personalities. As someone who thrives on structure & discipline, is sensitive and emotional, and has high expectations of others, I have to make a conscious effort to understand and accept someone who thrives on fun and excitement or isn’t easily phased by circumstances or other people. And I’m sure that person has to make a conscious effort to understand and accept me!
As I’ve matured I’ve realized that if I truly want be understood & accepted, I need to work to understand and accept others first. So often we focus so much on our own view and feelings that we forget to consider that of others. We approach situations with the expectation that everyone should GET IT and see it our way without acknowledging that the other party probably feels the same way and is seeking that same understanding and acceptance.
I’ve read a lot of books about personality over the years in an effort to improve in this area. I will admit, oftentimes I did so with the intent to understand myself more rather than to understand others and improve how I relate to them. In order to understand personality types better, I recently began reading a book called “Personality Plus,” which is probably the best I’ve read on the topic. Here’s how the book breaks the different personalities down:
Popular Sanguine: The Extrovert. The Talker. The Optimist
Perfect Melancholy: The Introvert. The Thinker. The Pessimist
Powerful Choleric: The Extrovert. The Doer. The Optimist.
Peaceful Phlegmatic: The Introvert. The Watcher. The Pessimist.
I’m sure as you read those descriptions you can identify which one or two describe you, and that you can think of many people in your life who fall into the other categories.
We all know someone who is the life of the party, the great storyteller and eternal optimist whom everyone wants to be around – they are the Popular Sanguine. We all know someone whose feathers never seem to be ruffled. They go-with-the-flow and just want everyone to get along. They are the Peaceful Phlegmatic.
For much of my life I’ve struggled inside myself to understand my own emotions. On the one hand I can be very social, excited about the future and quick to act. But on the other hand I like my time alone, tend to have a pessimistic nature, and like to think things through carefully. Guess what my test revealed? I’m split completely down the middle as a “Perfect Melancholy” and “Powerful Choleric”. Ha! I didn’t even rank on the other two types. So I’m both the introvert & the extrovert, the doer & the thinker, the optimist & the pessimist. No wonder I’ve felt such inner conflict!
This new understanding of myself is helping me to finally accept that the emotional struggles I feel are a part of who I am, and to embrace how God created me. I have to work to improve both my strengths and weaknesses, and be more understanding of the people around me whose personalities are different than mine. This understanding is helping me to improve the relationships that are important to me.
Which one are you? Do you know? I encourage you to learn! You will be amazed at how it can improve your understanding of yourself, those you love, and how you encounter others.
Lindy is the owner of Transform Fitness Studios in Mahomet, a group fitness and training studio located on Commercial Drive. She is a graduate of Mahomet-Seymour High School and Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. Lindy has been a fitness professional since 2005. She holds certifications in 13 fitness formats as well as nutrition and personal training. She is also an online fitness coach, working with others near and far as a “virtual personal trainer” to help them reach their goals.
Lindy specializes in health & fitness coaching & training, leadership & business development, and is dedicated to inspiring others to change their lives through the power of personal development, faith, health, and fitness. You can find her online at www.lindygault.com and can find more about Transform Fitness at www.mytransformfitness.com
