How is your soul?
What about your heart? And your mind?
Have you paused to check lately?
There are times when life events force people to take a look inside. Often, those times prompt a lifelong journey of sifting and molding and realizing just who you were meant to be.
This is what has happened to Kelly Skinner.
Now she wants to help others do the same.
An Pennslyvania native, Skinner was happily married with two very young children when she learned that her first husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Nine months later he was gone.
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Skinner grew up in the Roman Catholic Church.
Her father explored becoming a deacon and her mother worked as a secretary for her parish in Pennsylvania.
The experience of tradition within the church, though, wasn’t something Skinner connected with in the same way her parents did.
“Being a Catholic is an important part of my identity and my values,” Skinner said, “but it’s difficult for me to internalize a lot of the doctrine and ways the church does things.”
After his diagnosis, Skinner’s first husband converted to catholicism.
“He found a lot of comfort in spirituality,” she said.
Skinner never lost faith in the spiritual world that her foundation was built on after she lost her husband, but the way that she communicated with the divine changed.
“I started going outside of religious prayer, and developing more of a personal relationship with the divine,” she said.
Messages of grace popped up as she sat in the pews at church, listened to songs on the radio and received notes from friends.
“One time I picked up Anne Rice’s book “Christ The Lord: Out of Egypt”; a fictional book about Jesus’s early years.
I read this book and it was really touching. But I read the afterwards, and her husband had died from a brain tumor too. Going through that experience was instrumental to her coming back to the Catholic church after identifying as an atheist.
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On a suggestion from a friend, Skinner registered to go to a women’s retreat in St. Louis.
“I was like I’m going to hang out with my friend,” she said. “They were giving massages. That was cool, but I didn’t really know what to expect.”
So, the unexpected happened.
“There was this nun who led it, she said.
She talked about stuff that you can do to connect with the divine and spirituality that are not just about going to church, and not just about saying prayers or reading scripture, and not about sacraments and not about all of these things that you are not feeling connected with.
“There’s this whole other world of contemporary mystics and contemplative prayer. We did drum circles and mandalas, and I learned about walking the labyrinth. And she talked about Sophia, which is the greek word for wisdom that represents the feminine side of God.
“It blew my mind.”
The experience led her to reflect on her soul through reading books and practicing different ways to interact with the divine.
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Then about two years ago, Skinners world was rattled again.
“I was questioning my purpose, what am I supposed to be doing? None of this stuff feels very fulfilling to me.”
She sought out a spiritual director and a life coach who helped sort through some of the layers she was looking to shed.
Underneath those layers, the spiritual director saw a woman who might be able to help others along their journey.
“She said, ‘I feel like you’re an educator. I feel like you can connect with people. I feel like growth is really important to you. Have you ever considered going into ministry or doing some of these things?
“I was like, no, not really.”
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In the months that followed, Skinner turned to the “The Good Word” podcast by Steve Wiens, a pastor in Minnesota.
He interviewed a woman who developed an urban retreat center for faith formation and personal spiritual development in Minneapolis.
“And I’m like, that sounds really cool.
“It planted a seed in my heart.”
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That seed sprouted last spring when Skinner was on a four-day silent retreat.
“I offered it up and asked what direction do you want me to go in, God?”
As she sat on the front porch of her cottage, overlooking a forested area, her eye was drawn to the squirrels nearby.
“I saw these squirrels running around in the glade, digging up nuts, moving them here and there. And I thought, that’s what I can do.
“I can be like a squirrels. They get a nut or seed from this tree, and move it over here, and plants it here, then this really cool tree grows.
“There’s this diverse glade, and I can be the facilitator that helps people take these different things and grow into something beautiful.”
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Over the last year, Skinner has jumped into her vision with both feet.
She began to host pop up workshops, to reach out to people and distribute surveys to find out what people need in their spiritual journey.
Based off the feedback Skinner received, Skinner began Soul Care, which provides resources and experiences for men and women of all ages to look into their soul, heart and mind and to connect with their spirituality. Everyone is welcome, no matter what your belief system is.
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Skinner plans to open up space near Lincoln Square Mall in early June .
The 1,500 square foot space will include rooms for regular educational workshops and yoga, meditation or thai chi classes alongside smaller spaces for small group discussion and individual pods designed for personal quiet time and spiritual activities like journaling or even for guests to take a nap, if they would like.
Skinner also envisions providing space for spiritual directors, massage therapists, reiki or energy work therapists to see clients.
“There are a lot of people who are scared to talk about their spirituality because they feel like their spirituality has to be within an institution. And some institutions are very this is what you have to believe, you can’t question, you can’t go outside the lines.
“I really want to provide a comfortable space where people can have that sense of community and bounce ideas off other people or learn about new spiritual practices that can help them connect with their authentic self and with the divine.
“People are feeling like they are overworked, stressed and out of touch with their inner self, there’s a lack of relationships people have, and people feel very isolated.
“They can walk that journey together.”
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Over the last 15 years, Skinner has learned that the spiritual journey is about self-reflection, community and intention.
She plans to bring these concepts to life within her soul care space, but she also hopes to reach people this weekend as she tells her 6 minute and 40 second story titled “Creating Sacred Spaces in Ordinary Places” at Pecha Kucha Night at the Virginia Theater in Champaign.
Skinner feels like it was another divine moment when an event organizer suggested that she submit a proposal for a spot on the 11-woman panel two days before the deadline.
Being accepted as a speaker filled Skinner with joy and fear.
“I’ve presented in front of hundreds of people before, but I’m really nervous,” she said “I’m also very excited, but I thought what did I get myself into?”
While the story Skinner will tell will continue to remain a mystery until her time on stage Saturday night, she has learned that sacred spaces can be anywhere, and are not just reserved for church, nature or an intimate moment with another person.
“We need sacred spaces in order to connect with ourselves, the divine, our intention to be the best person that we can be. With intention and looking at things in a different mindset, you can take an ordinary space in your house, work or regular routine and turn that into a sacred space.”
In looking back on the sessions with her spiritual director, Skinner realized that the little room they meet in is a sacred space. Before their time together, they get a cup of tea, light a candle on the bookshelf located along the wall, and sound a chime.
Recently, Skinner found a spot on her couch during a time of day where the sunlight hits the cushions just right. She has made that a sacred space.
She is also creating a new scared space in her home where one of her children, who has moved out, used to sleep.
But Skinner has witnessed people create a sacred space with a tray of special objects that they sit with in their closet or a co-worker taking 10-minutes out of their workday to meditate.
“It’s just taking the time and intention to do it. We’re not really good about being intentional in our lives in a lot of different ways,” she said.
