By FRED KRONER
Mahomet’s Patrick and Samantha Olson are filled with love and hope as they anxiously await the arrival of their third baby.
The anticipation is offset only by the uncertainty of when the moment will occur.
Unlike many expectant families, who have a due date to plan around, the Olsons must be satisfied to wait.
After Samantha gave birth to her youngest son, who is now 7 years old, the couple made the decision to expand their family through adoption.
“We knew when my last pregnancy was a difficult one, we didn’t want me to carry anymore,” Samantha said.
It wasn’t a decision made in haste.
“We started the process eight months ago, but prayed over two years to make sure it was the right move for us,” Samantha said.
The agency the family is working with averages three or four placements a year, Samantha said. Already handled are the preliminary details that are required.
“We are home-study ready and also have an attorney,” she said.
The couple is actively involved in one major segment of the process.
“We are choosing to self-match currently because of the cost,” Samantha said. “With what we have, we could match if a mom came to us and we just used an attorney.”
The adoption experience has been filled with frustrations and disappointments. Five times the Olsons have been contacted by someone who identified themselves as an expectant mother.
Five times, they ultimately learned they were the victim of hoaxes. Each time, there were variations in the approach. They’ve learned to be careful.
“Red flags,” Samantha Olson said, “such as going into labor on the phone; getting angry because you didn’t sound excited enough for their news of having a baby for you; not wanting you to work with an attorney.”
The Olsons have documented much of their journey on an adoption website they set up, Hopefullyparents.com. There is also information on a Facebook group, Fundraising & Updates – Olson Adoption, as well as a Facebook Page, Patrick and Samantha Adopt.
In late July, Samantha posted about what she hoped would be a positive encounter with an expectant mother.
Included in her comments, “The fact that she (birth mother) contacted me the day before birth is a red flag. Typically, legit situations will have had a plan … They said they would call me when she was born, so I could hear the first cries. They called me twice and I heard a baby crying. I could not tell if it was a recording or real … I kept saying hello and no one would speak. First major red flag for me … I asked them to contact our attorney if this was legit and gave them the number. We haven’t heard anything back … This could be a scam or a couple who changed their mind. We may never know.”
After a different July contact, Samantha wrote, “I just don’t understand how someone can be so cruel.”
If they could turn back the hands of time and re-start the process, Patrick isn’t sure he would take another approach.
“I wouldn’t do anything different right now,” he said. “Possibly be more aware of people trying to scam, but Samantha had herself decently educated on the scams ahead of time from being in Facebook support groups for adoptions.”
The Olsons didn’t expect all of the hurdles which have confronted them thus far.
“Sort of, but not really,” Samantha said.
Patrick didn’t start with any preconceived notions on how the system would work.
“When we started, I was scared and excited not knowing anything of the adoption process,” he said. “I went in having very few expectations. I didn’t realize it would actually be this hard to adopt.”
The Olsons have lived in Mahomet since 2013, five years after they were married. They have learned that the hoaxes generally occur for one of two reasons.
“We are told it’s either a financial scam or an emotional scam,” Samantha said. “So far, the scams we’ve gotten are emotional.”
There are other options, but they are more costly.
“I want to hire a consultant who has connections to multiple agencies in multiple states,” Samantha said. “A match average happens (usually) in three to six months. But it’s $40,000 that way.”
With the agency they are currently associated with, the fee would be a minimum of $20,000.
They aren’t content to continue maintaining the status quo. The Olsons are trying to put themselves in position to work more closely with an agency. Numerous fundraisers are helping them inch closer to that goal.
They see that as the essential next step.
“Continuing to raise money through fundraisers and trusting God to lead us down a specific path,” Samantha said, referring to plans for the immediate future. “We are doing all we can to fundraise for our adoption. That to us has been the hardest part.
“We are open to donations and hope people will see a fundraiser we are doing that they can partner with and support us.”
Upcoming fundraisers include Krispy Kreme doughnut sales on Aug. 22 (payments due by Aug 18). There will be a Shoe Drive fundraiser Aug. 28 where gently used and new shoes will be gathered and shipped overseas to help people who live in developing nations. Funds raised will be based on the total weight of the shoes collected as Funds2Orgs will purchase all of the donated footwear.
The Olsons are also working with Both Hands as a fundraiser, too. Both Hands is where teams of 10 or more gather to do volunteer work on a local widow’s home. More information can be found out https://bothhands.org/.
There is also an account set up at Busey Bank for those who wish to donate.
The couple views the setbacks to date as temporary roadblocks and are trying to maintain a positive attitude.
“We believe God has called us to this path and each time, so far, when we check back in, we feel it’s the same,” Samantha said.
The roller-coaster of emotions they’ve gone through during the times that a glimmer of hope appears, have had an effect, Samantha saying it has taken a “pretty decent toll on me and Pat.”
They have relied on each other throughout the process.
“It’s been one of growth in many areas for both Patrick and I,” Samantha said, “with our faith, with each other and our communication.”
The Olsons have looked into fostering, but that doesn’t fit their long-term vision.
“We have explored foster-to-adopt multiple times, but with fostering of any kind, the goal is reunification to the biological family and we want to grow our family,” Samantha said. “The two don’t work together.”
Samantha was raised in a large household near Georgetown. She has one biological brother and she said, “many other brothers through my parents choosing to foster when I was a young kid into adulthood. I also have a sister from my mom getting guardianship of a wonderful little girl when I was 19.”
Patrick, who farms, is originally from Monticello and is one of three brothers. His family has about 1,000 acres in White Heath.
Samantha and Patrick’s children are 10-year-old Ben and 7-year-old Myles.
“We are all ready and excited to welcome a new baby,” Samantha said.
They are confident they will eventually be matched with a birth mother, but Patrick said he is, “less optimistic now than the beginning because of the financial walls we have to break through, but it doesn’t deter us from our hope of a child through adoption.
“It is frustrating at times, because of the hoaxes, but it doesn’t change what we want.”
The Olsons can be reached via email at: patrickandsamanthaadopt@gmail.com or by phone, 765-314-3080.
