Our friend Tom Meachum passed away this morning after fighting cancer for two years. Tom was very active in the community, volunteering time with the Mahomet Lions Club, at the Museum of the Grand Prairie and the Mahomet United Methodist Church, among other places.This story was published in 2013 when Tom and Linda sat down with me to tell me their story. They made me smile and I could sense a deep connection between them, their children and grandchildren. You will be missed by many, Tom Meachum. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Linda and Tom Meachum may not have the secrets to marriage but they have made their marriage work for 40 years.
“40 years seems like a long time, and then other times it’s just like a blink of an eye,” Linda said.
As residents of Mahomet for 37 years, the Meachum’s have lived a life of service to the community.
“I have admired their willingness to serve the community, both together and individually,” their daughter Kelly McPherson said. “Even as a little kid, we would go do things within the community. They’ve always been grounded in what’s going on in town, and want to be a part of it.”
The Meachum’s call to serve others began when they were involved in prison ministry. They traveled to Dwight, Canton or Taylorville for three-day retreats where they spent the day at the prison facility before leaving for the night.
Although there were large groups on a ministry team, the Meachum’s enjoyed the one-on-one time they spent with the inmates.
“It was very enlightening,” Linda said. “You realize this could be your brother, sister, aunt or uncle. They’re people, just like we are. They just happened to do something bad and got caught.”
As members of the Mahomet United Methodist Church, the Meachums have spent several years serving others through intergenerational mission trips. Tom has spent time helping to construct or upkeep facilities on the trip while Linda prepares meals.
“It’s about accepting people where they’re at,” Linda said. “I think that’s what it is with ministry, taking people where they’re at. Deal with them from that point on, not where you want them to be.”
“It’s about loving them,” Tom said.
In July, the couple who finishes each other’s sentences will go to South Carolina on the mission trip.
“They call us grandma and grandpa,” Linda said. “We really enjoy working with the younger kids, and seeing their experiences.”
“A point of pride for me is when I look at my wife and two kids, and I see the lives they’ve affected,” Tom said.
The Meachums has also enjoyed spending time at the theater together. They love to attend musicals at the Assembly Hall, the Champaign-Urbana Theater Company or in Chicago together. They travel and go to church together.
But it’s not an uncommon sight in Mahomet to see the entire Meachum family at their grandchildren’s sporting events.
With two children, Kelly and Will, and five grandchildren, Linda and Tom have created a close-knit family. Their son lives about an hour away and their daughter’s family lives in the house next to them. They have lived in the same home for 27 years.
“It works,” Linda said. “A lot of people think that’s awfully close, but we’ve set guidelines and the kids know when they can come over, and when they can’t.”
While Tom sold copiers, Linda stayed at home with Kelly and Will until Kelly was in fifth grade when she went back to full-time teaching.
Linda taught at Lincoln Trail for 30 years.
“We made rules and stuck by them,” Linda said. “Kids need guidelines. They want structure. Not to say Kelly and Will didn’t push the envelope, but they were just really neat kids, so it wasn’t hard to parent them.”
It was important to Tom and Linda to let their children be somewhat independent, and make choices while participating in the activities which were important to them.
“Our kids always knew they were loved,” Tom said. “No matter what we got on them about or corrected them about, it was out of love.”
And because Linda and Tom were able to foster real love, they were able to let each other live their individual lives.
“I was always free to do the things I liked to do, and the same with him,” Linda said.
While Tom is passionate about his train collection, Linda enjoyed gardening.
“You have to let each other be individuals,” Linda said. “You just can’t control the other person. As much as you want to, as much as you’d like to change the other person, you can’t do it. And I think that’s helped us.”
They also feel their marriage was sustained through sharing household responsibilities. After Tom told Linda the ironed differently in the Marines, he has done all the ironing in the house for 40 years.
“You just do what needs to be done,” Tom said.
But if you would have asked Tom and Linda’s friends 40 years ago, they would have said the couple would split soon.
When Tom met Linda at a local pizza parlor, he was already engaged to another girl.
“We took the other girl’s rings, went around the corner to another jewelry store and bought our rings,” Tom said. “She insisted she didn’t want an engagement ring, but when we went around the corner she said, ‘That’s the one I don’t want.’ So I bought it for her.
In a whirlwind, after meeting in February, Tom proposed to Linda near the State Capital square in Springfield, then they were married in June.
“I got down on one knew, and a lot of people gathered around and applauded,” he said.
The night before Barack Obama announced his run for presidency in Springfield, Tom emailed him to let him know he would be walking on hallowed ground.
On their first anniversary, the couple found out all of Linda’s friends had a bet they wouldn’t make it a year.
“They’re all divorced, every one of them,” Tom said.
“I should have known better though when on our wedding day he had two inch wide red suspenders under his tuxedo,” Linda said.
Their wedding wasn’t anything formal. Linda said her wedding dress was made by a friend who finished the morning of the wedding. Tom said the dress cost $12.
The reception was held in a banquet room at the pizza parlor where they met.
A few years after they were married, they had a baby and Tom lost his job.
They agreed that they’ve survived the hard times by staying close to their faith.
“Our faith is huge,” Linda said. “No matter what the obstacles, no matter what has been put in our path, we believe strongly in the marriage vow, and it’s not just something you can walk away from.”
While there were times when it would have been easy to walk away, they agreed, faith, perseverance, dedication and family are what saw them through.
“Our family is so important to us, our kids, and grandkids,” Linda said. “It’s not easy to walk out that door and never come back. Even when sometimes you think that’s the answer.”
Tom and Linda are facing their biggest challenge as Tom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer in February. After two more chemotherapy treatments, doctors will diagnose the effects of the chemo, and decide where to go from there.
While pancreatic cancer is statistically deadly because generally discovered during Stage 4. Tom went to the doctor when he turned yellow because the tumor blocked his pancreatic duct.
“We’re really blessed because the kids are there for us when we really need them,” Linda said. “He’s gone through a bunch of procedures. And they make sure they’re here. Kelly is my right arm. Not just because she’s a nurse, but she’s just a very caring person. So is Will.”
Tom and Linda invite the Mahomet community celebrate their 40th anniversary with them at an open house at the Mahomet United Methodist Church from 2 to 5 p.m.
