BY BROGAN HENNESY
We all need friends. They help us through tough times and are something to look forward to. I am lucky to have a group of friends to spend time with. We sleepover, play video games together and go out to see a movie. We also have a tradition of going to Monical’s before our school dances.
But, sometimes, friends disagree and may not get along all the time. I think that is normal; that all relationships have rough spots.
However, I have been going through a tough situation at my lunch table for some time. I have started to feel like almost everything is a competition between my friends and me: who got the better grade, who is the better player at knockout, even who is the busiest. I don’t like the feeling of having to be better than my friends because I shouldn’t have to.
Instead of getting angry with them, I have been trying to see what I can do to stop this. They are my friends, and I don’t want to break things beyond repair.
About a week ago, the 8th grade got finished with one of our standardized tests. When I asked my friend how he did, he said, “I did the best I’ve ever done. My teacher even thinks I’ve got a definite shot at taking an honors class next year.”
My friends began comparing their scores in a way that wasn’t positive. It felt like the friend who got the higher score trumped the other’s.
That night I remembered something an old friend said, “People think that goodness is like a big pie. Society has this fixed idea that we are all eating from the same pie. But we all have our own pies, and when people get extra pie, that is not taking from your pie.’
That reference didn’t make sense to me then, but now I am starting to see what it means. My friends are allowed to have things they do be appreciated and recognized, and that does not detract from me or anybody else.
So if my friends and I are trying to compete with each other, that means that we all want to be recognized. I know that I feel proud of myself when I get congratulated for my articles. Are my friends trying to get that feeling? Could I stop this senselessness by just saying “good job.”
I tested my idea to see if I had the right idea. One day, when our table was bickering about a math test, my friends were interrupting with each other, I simply said “ Awesome, we all did great!”
To my surprise, my friends weren’t expecting this and the fighting stopped! We were finally able to talk about things that mattered!
Yet, I felt guilty about the whole experience; I didn’t know that my friends felt like they were being neglected by the rest of us. We are supposed to feel close to each other. So I have been making sure I tell my friends how much they mean to me.
In the season of giving, I’ve learned that sometimes the best thing you can give to someone are words of appreciation. If words are all I need, then it will be quite easy for me to give.
This holiday season, I hope we can all feel good and appreciate the people we have. I appreciate my family, friends, and you, the person reading this. Thank you for taking time to read my column, I can’t describe how much I appreciate it. Cheers, and have a happy holiday.
