A Tribute to Wonderful Mothers!
I am blessed to be around many great mothers. For this year’s Mother’s Day I asked some of them to answer questions about their experience with motherhood. All these mothers are doing a great job by teaching their kids what they have learned from their own lives and their own mothers. They are all making a difference by teaching the next generation what is important and how to be a better person. Mothers come from different backgrounds, ages, and places but one thing all have in common is that we love our child(ren) and want the best for them.
Here’s to our amazing mothers!
Kristine Richards
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 25 when I first became a mother.
Did you always want to be a parent?
I always thought that I would get married and become a mother.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
As I was growing up I would write things down that would occur during my day so that I could go home and read off my list and share my day with my mom. As I’ve gotten older my mother has become my best friend.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I was raised in a wonderful home with loving parents. I’ve implemented many of the same things in my parenting as I saw my parents do with my sister and me.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I believe there are many things in my parenting, disciplining, educating and training my children that I do in the same way that my mom did with me.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
Patience
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
Mother (usually humorously), mom and sometimes mama or Mamacita. Love them all.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
Now that my children are out of the home I have plenty of time for myself. My husband was always very well good at letting me have some alone time if needed when my children were still in the home.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Cherish each moment when they are young because before you know it they will be leaving your home.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
I usually did try to make things that the kids and my husband would enjoy but once in a while I would make something for just me if none of them enjoyed it. The last time I did, it was salmon for myself and something else for my husband.
Dani Tietz
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I had just turned 21 years old.
Did you always want to be a parent?
I don’t know. I knew that if I became a parent I wanted to break the cycle of addiction, abuse, and unhealthy relationships that I was accustomed to.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
I had many women in my life who helped to set the ideals that I wanted to aspire to become a mom. I was blessed with some great friends who had strong connections with their moms. And while I was not their daughter, the way that they treated their children helped me to know that there was something different out there.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I am not raising them in the same way as I was raised. I have tried to parent from a place where they get to be who they are and create a space where they know that they are always safe, cared for, provided for and loved. I don’t have many rules. My expectations are that they are kind, independent, and hard-working.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I don’t because I don’t discipline them. We talk through things and work towards understanding how certain actions can produce different types of natural consequences, both short-term and long-term.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
That I can love someone so much. I don’t mean in an “I really like this kid kind of way,” but to love someone unconditionally; to see all the different sides and facets of someone; to want to work with and fight for someone’s well-being; to be able to forgive; to feel real joy for another human being. Loving them has helped me understand how I can love others better.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
My kids just call me mom. In my oldest’s phone, I’m her “badass mother.” I hope one day they’ll be able to call me friend, too.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
I’m not sure that I’ve been great at this. For some parents looking in, I may have taken too much time for myself. My kids are and are not the center of my universe. I will always be there for them. I will always be on their team. But I’ve also pursued my career and friendships in a way that I hope that they, as a parent, will mirror.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Let your child be the human they were born to be. In that, you will bring out the best within them and in turn, they will show you that you are more than you could have imagined. Also, make them do their own dishes, laundry and teach them to genuinely listen to other people.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
I really haven’t liked to cook in the first 41 years of my life. But this year, 2021, I have learned to grill (with charcoal), make omelets, make sauces, roast vegetables, etc. The joke right now is that I will be getting grilling stuff for Mother’s Day. I’m not sure that I would cook for myself; I’d probably eat out. But the kids have stretched me to learn and be more-even in the kitchen. For that, I am grateful.
Anurita Kohli
How old were you when you first became a mother?
Early thirties.
Did you always want to be a parent?
Yes. Had I not got married and have children of my own, I would have most certainly adopted.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
Many good memories, so hard to choose one. My mother’s quiet dignity in dealing with everyday life situations made a huge impact on me. I especially remember the long train journeys I had with her growing up where we just talked, laughed and gazed at the passing scenery.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I sincerely hope I am, but times are different especially with internet. So I have to be more strict in terms of how they believe in the information out there.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
Very much so in principle. Just wish I had as much patience as my mother.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
My children are my teachers too.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
My kids call me Mummy. It’s the best feeling ever.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
That’s tricky, but gets better as kids get older.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Have an open heart and mind. Be an empathetic listener, listen so they talk to you and talk to them so they listen to you.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
Predictably, cannot recall that. Maybe I should!
Ameena Machalek
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was thirty three years old.
Did you always want to be a parent?
I didn’t give it much thought till I had been dating my husband for about a year, then I knew I wanted a family with him.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
When I was a little girl I would get super cranking when I was tired and hungry after school. I frequently would have really bad headaches caused by the extremely hot weather in Karachi, Pakistan. Mom would rattle off a list of foods she could make for me and I would just be upset and say no! to everything, she would quietly get up and go into the kitchen and whip up something absolutely delicious and bring it to me. She would sit with me while I ate the yummy snack. Sometimes my headaches were so bad I would cry and she would spoon feed me. Afterwards she would gently place her hand on my forehead just to calm me down. She never got upset with me, she just knew what would put a smile on my face.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised?
I have instilled the same values in my son that I grew up with but no I’m not raising him the same way. What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style? In the culture my parents came from and I grew up in, the phrase “I love you” was not said. It wasn’t till I was married, when I started to say that to my parents and they started responding back with “I love you too”. I tell my son I love him, I tell him how happy I’m to have him in my life, I tell him how much joy he brings to our little family. I believe we should tell our children how much we love them. I believe nothing in this world grows without love and nurturing.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I disciplined my son very differently than how I was disciplined. When my son was little I would set boundaries and make it very clear what the consequences would be and I followed through. I don’t believe in senselessly grounding your child. When I did ground my son I would always explain why he was being grounded. We raised our son to voice his opinions and ask questions when he disagreed with us.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood? To have patience (I’m not a very patient person), listen completely before reacting and apologize when I’m wrong.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
Ma! My son says Ma! I absolutely love the sound, for me those two little letters say love, it’s a big emotional hug, it’s the best sound that brings me so much joy.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself? My son is 22 years old now, when he was a baby I would wake up before he did, even if it was 20 mins before. That 15-20 mins at the start of my day to myself were very important. I would sit quietly and enjoy a cup of coffee, find time for a quick meditation. Once he woke up I was ready to enjoy my day with him and be fully present for my son. I would also take time for myself after my husband would come home from work. Even today though my time is pretty much mine I still take time in the morning for myself, I still have my morning coffee quietly by myself and quiet time for myself before I go to bed.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Enjoy every moment. When you’re with your child or children be fully present. Listen to your child, they can teach us a lot. Tell your child you love them, hug them. A child who is loved and knows they’re loved grows up to be a very confident individual.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself? This is a tough one, I have a lot of favorite foods but I think by far my big treat for myself is my morning coffee.
Aster Amha
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 28 years old.
Did you always want to be a parent?
No, because I was adopted and abandoned by my own birth father, my mother died when I was three so I had a fear to have kids because in my mind what if I turned like my father. Also I didn’t want to face my childhood in the sense I want to run away from that. But now after I have my kids, they have changed my perspective, I love them and I have accepted who I was.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
To be honest I have no one I can look up to as a mother growing up because my mother who adopted me was very cruel and abused me emotionally and I never wanted to be a mother because of her. But now as an adult I met a lady who is an amazing selfless mother who loves her daughter unconditionally and she taught me what a mother should look like and be like.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised?
No, I want to make sure I raise them with kindness and respect as well as giving them unconditional love, never to manipulate them in any way.
What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
Self awareness that I am not perfect and I am not always right. I make sure my kids know that and I can learn and grow with them. And love them unconditionally no matter what.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
Yes, I have and I have stopped. I used to yell at my kids but then I told myself I don’t ever want to be like her so I made a decision to talk to them instead of yelling at them.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
They can teach you about patience and who you really are. They also teach you to love yourself and others unconditionally.
What do your kids call you?
Mommy, mom, my mommy (my daughter calls me)
How does that make you feel?
Joy and my heart fills with love and satisfaction that I am raising these kids on my own and my own way.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
I started learning to balance parenting and self care after my kids turned 9 and 11 because I started feeling the stress and burnout.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Love your child unconditionally without any expectations. Be honest with your child as they will be honest with you. Enjoy your child because they will grow too fast. One important thing, be a conscious parent. Be aware what you are saying to them, what you are teaching them and what you are doing because they copy you. Be a good example to love people and to be kind so that they will do the same.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
Few days ago. I have learned to cook something for me this year.
Rebecca Richardson
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was a young mom at 21.
Did you always want to be a parent?
I think so yes.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
A memory I recall a lot was with my mother. She and I stayed up late one Friday night and watched Music Man and made homemade french fries. It doesn’t sound particularly memorable, but she is the one who made it so special.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
My parents were poor and neither finished high school, but they knew how to make us feel loved and safe. My husband and I fell in love with UIUC, and we both feel strongly about some type of post-secondary education, whether it be a 4-year college experience or a trade school. One thing we have in common with my parents is that we both raised our kids to be compassionate and kind.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I absolutely see the relationship with my daughter similar to the one my mother and I had. These days I try to provide more advice than discipline, and it’s hard to watch your kids learn by their struggle, but sometimes necessary.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
I’ve learned that raising and nurturing children to adulthood is hard but the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve also learned that your influence on your children shows up in unexpected ways, and it’s really fun when your influence shows up in their lives.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
They call me Mom. It is the hardest and most rewarding title I’ve ever achieved.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
My kids are all grown and live in their own homes now, so I have a lot of “me” time. In fact, I am hoping post-pandemic to spend more time with all three of them and their families.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Identify one person who has mom experience and that you trust implicitly. Try to not spend too much time looking for answers from people you don’t know. Every baby and every experience are unique. Above all else, try to soak up every experience – good, bad, awful and wonderful. Establish a system early on to record special moments, videos, pics, etc., and don’t beat yourself up. There isn’t a training manual!
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
If it was something just for myself, I wouldn’t cook it! Haha!!
Gloretha Brown
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 31 years old when I first became a mother.
Did you always want to be a parent?
Yes, ever since I was a child, I wanted to be a parent when I grew up.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
There are so many memories that I cherish as my best memories with my mother. My mother has always tried to help family and others around her in need if she could and I just admire her beautiful loving heart that she has always done for others and been of a service to others, giving her last to make someone have what they needed and to put a smile on someone’s face.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
Yes, I am trying to raise my children as I was raised. The biggest change in my parenting style is that I think I am a bit too lenient at times.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
Yes, I do see my own mother in me when I am disciplining my children because I want them to grow up knowing right from wrong and I want them to understand that as their mother, I have their best interest at heart like my mother had and still has for me.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
The best lesson I have learned from motherhood is that time is so precious so enjoy every moment you have with your children and teach them about love, kindness, and respect for themselves, and others. Time passes by so quickly, before you know it they will be grown all up before your very eyes.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
My children call me mommy and it makes me feel loved and valued…I think it’s so sweet. 🙂
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
It’s a challenge, so I find time for myself while driving myself to and from work…stopping at the grocery store…you know those in between times when I am not in the presence of my children…I never want to leave them out.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
My mother is always giving me great advice in order to live my life to the fullest. She has let me know ever since I was a little girl that I am not whatever negative thing that someone else may say of me or think of me…she has always let me know I am beautiful inside out and to live my life to the fullest by not letting anyone’s hurtful words or thinking of me take away my self esteem and value.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
I really cannot remember when the last time I cooked something specifically for myself.
Halima Krugh
How old were you when you first became a mother?
28, a few weeks shy of 29.
Did you always want to be a parent?
No. I had a dysfunctional family life growing up, feared bringing a child into the world and repeating, and wasn’t certain I wanted the responsibility and for my life to be forever altered.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
I loved celebrating Eid with my family – being in the kitchen with my mother when she prepared special treats & doing henna with my sisters. I loved going out shopping with my Auntie.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised?
In very few ways.
What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I don’t hit my children.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
I see my own mother in me in how I show affection to my children. Fortunately my husband and I work out disciplining together.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
Love is what matters the most. Kids don’t expect perfection. They want love, time and attention – and to be fed and have clean clothes.
What do your kids call you?
Mommy.
How does that make you feel?
I love it. It’s the best! (Sometimes it’s annoying when I don’t want to be needed 🙂
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
I don’t. It’s different every day. Some days I have more to give than others. Some days demand more of me than others. I do the best I can. Schedule time for myself when I can. Schedule dates with my children when I can.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
Taking care of yourself helps you take care of your family. Try to nap when the baby naps and let some household chores go. Try to batch cook and freeze half for reheating later at a busier time. Above all, get in all the hugs & kisses you can. Enjoy the snuggles and cuddles. Read and sing to your baby. Go on nice long walks together. Talk to your friends. The days are long and the years are short. Babies grow up fast!
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
Sunday, April 25, 2021. A coconut lentil soup recipe from Ottolenghi Simple cookbook.
Lana Malaise
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 28.
Did you always want to be a parent?
Yes.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
I can not name a specific memory, but I always remember Mom being so strong and always taking care of anything that needed done especially when my dad was deployed in the Navy for 9 months at a time. She always got things done AND she was always around to talk to me and show me love.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised?
In a lot of ways, Yes, to learn to be kind and to be appreciative and to be respectful..and in some ways different.
What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
I do not have as many rules and penalties as I grew up with, it is more a general approach to do the right thing the majority of the time and I will be understanding when you slip up.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
Not so much
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
That it is not easy, and you may not always be recognized for what you do, but it is the most important thing I will ever do!
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
Mom
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
It is very tough, for the first 18+ years, I rarely took time for me. I now realize that I have to take care of me to be 100% for parenting. It is refreshing when I gave myself permission to do it…but I wish I would have started much sooner.
What’s your best advice for new moms? Realize you will make mistakes, take some time for yourself weekly (even if only half hour) and show love and be patient for the appreciation in due time.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
Cannot recall
Zainab Susi
How old were you when you first became a mother?
I was 22 years old when I first became a mother.
Did you always want to be a parent?
Yes. And before I even got pregnant I knew I was going to have daughters.
What’s the best memory you have with your own mother or with someone you really admired growing up?
I have lots of great memories with my mother. When I was a little girl, she used to take me shopping with her. After I finished high school my mother and I worked at the same school as teachers. That was really nice. We would walk together from home to school and I looked forward to seeing her throughout the day.
Are you raising your child(ren) how you have been raised? What’s the biggest change you made in your parenting style?
My girls are adults now. I tried my best to provide them with the same qualities I received from my mother. I have tried to find a balance between both cultures and choose what makes sense to apply in our home.
Do you see your own mother in you especially when you are disciplining your child/children?
For sure. And I love it. I used and still use many of my mom’s examples when I talk to my girls.
So far, what is the best lesson you have learned from motherhood?
Honestly, motherhood is the hardest job on this planet but the reward is priceless. I have learned that we parents also have to grow with our kids and we have to change our parenting style with their age and adapt to where they are in their lives.
What do your kids call you? How does that make you feel?
Mom, mama, Amee and mother. I love all of the names. I feel blessed and very lucky I have two daughters who call me with all those names.
How do you find balance between motherhood and finding time for yourself?
Now, since my girls are adults, I have more time for myself. I communicate with them more like talking to another adult and as friends.
What’s your best advice for new moms?
I would say that parenting doesn’t come with a manual. If you don’t like something about how you were raised this is your chance to change and improve for your child. Don’t be afraid to ask any small or big question you have and enjoy each day. They grow too fast. Try to remember that we are raising the next generation and parenting also comes with responsibilities. Try your best and remember it’s okay to make mistakes.
When was the last time you cooked something special just for yourself?
Every morning, I make chai for myself. I’ve been setting aside time for myself each morning to enjoy my tea for as long as I can remember. Also, two days ago, I made mango chutney just for myself.
Happy Mother’s DAY to all you young and old Mothers out there!
Life is beautiful!
